i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
