I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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