It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
