My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
