Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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