I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
