Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
