A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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