Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
3pm strippers are depressing
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
In other news, I just burned my penis
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
