just tell him i said nine months
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
