He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
