Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
