Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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