Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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