ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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