I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
