dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
