his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
