There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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