you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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