im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
