There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
