mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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