Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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