Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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