And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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