The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
