you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
