WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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