Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
