I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
