I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
