I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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