i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
