I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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