where does the pee come out of this thing
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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