Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
