I just pynch a tree in the face
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
