I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
