Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
