just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
