Christians are straight up FREAKS
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
