So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
