I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
