I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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