come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
