Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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