I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
