i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
