i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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