I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
